After my wonderful birthday I hit a time of adjustment that required more of me than I could possibly share in this short post.

And then I went into prep mode for a long planned family vacation.  

It was one of my dreams come true and that has me reeling too.  It was so much better than I imagined or could have planned.  But that's the thing about dreams, isn't it?  You plan for what you want to happen, you work out all the steps you have to do to make the dream happen and along the way you sometimes struggle.  Once the dream is real it's more magical and better and brighter than you could have imagined because the work that you did to get to the dream has changed you.  

So I place this here just to let you know that you have permission to pause and remember who you were then move forward into who you are.  

We did it every time we started our circle
 introduced ourselves through our mother's line. 
I am Dionne daughter of Jeanine, daughter of Winifred,
daughter of Sally...and there I would stop. 

I had no connection past my great grandma,
"Big Grandma" is what I called her or so I'm told. 
As I listened to the other women go back through 
their mothers I felt a longing to know more. 

Where did I come from? 

Though my mom tried to help very few of the stories 
of my family were written down let alone shared with her. 
There were whispers that we had Native American blood 
within us. I discovered this was a common story in many 
African American household; a testament to the level of 
shame and sadness the legacy of slavery has left with us. 
We'd rather claim that heritage as if trading one painful 
history for another was better. "Besides all of that was 
grown folks business", she would tell me, "In my day kids 
weren't allowed to listen to grown folks talk."
 
As the grown folks aged and past on coupled with the 
sad history of this country, our stories...my stories were 
lost. 

I felt lost. 

The question of identity has plagued many African 
Americans. Like many before me, I longed to know
more than what little was safe to teach us in a few 
paragraphs of a history book in school.

Among others, author Terry Pratchet is quoted as 
saying “If you do not know where you come from, 
then you don't know where you are, and if you don't 
know where you are, then you don't know where you're 
going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're 
probably going wrong.”


What was my starting place and where the heck am 
I going? This question burned within me. 

Though the Internet proved useful in my initial search 
(I found my great, great grandmother),  I had reached 
the great divide where no records of slaves were kept. 
And still the longing to know consumed me. I wanted to 
know what contribution to life in this country we made 
beyond the shame and heartbreak of slavery. 

I want to know what tribe my people came from. 

Inspired by the show African American Lives, I decided 
to take a DNA test to find out where my mother's people 
originated from and reclaim them surrounded by circle 
of women. 

I have to tell you I went back and forth on the decision 
because the information effects all the women from my 
mother's side; aunts and girl cousins, my daughter and 
any girl children that come from her. Would knowing and 
sharing this information do harm to them? Would it shatter 
our long held family beliefs about our place in the world? 
Or would it elevate us, make us wiser and connect our
family to something deeper? Either way i had to know. 

The process was painless; several cotton swaps rubbed
 in my mouth sealed in a capsule and returned to a lab.  
Within a few weeks I had the results.  

We gathered in circle, my then tribe and me, placing 
pictures on the altar and sharing stories of our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers.  With each retelling 
we breathed life into them until the room seemed to me filled 
with their presences.

The results were read.  With 98% accuracy my mother's 
line came from Ghana.  My mother ancestors were welcomed back and celebrated.

Knowing where I started out has helped me focus on where 
I'm  wanting to go.  Knowing has brought a level of comfort 
when thing along the journey get rough because there's  a 
well of strength from the ancestors within me waiting to be 
drawn upon. 

Knowing gave me a deeper perspective of which ancestral 
gifts to keep and which to walk away from.  This is one act 
which is without a doubt part of my legacy; my way to touch 
seven generations into the past and seven generations into the future. 

Knowing means I can say 
without a doubt I am Dionne, 
daughter of Jeanine, 
daughter of Winifred, 
daughter of Sally, 
daughter of Mary
a daughter of Ghana.

May we do our part to make the little differences that mean a lot.  
May each action we take flow through us and enliven our own lives so we may lead by example.  
May Earth Day be every day

I'm not sure if it's that much of a secret but I'll tell ya...I love my crock pot.  

It's probably my most powerful magic tool. 

 By harnessing it's power, 
I create the most delicious meals to nourish my family's minds, bodies and spirits.  

It's nothing short of uh-maze-zing!  I see my crock pot as 
a modern day version of Cerridwen's cauldron.  

Cerridwen put all the ingredients into her cauldron
to make a brew for her son who was born deformed. 
This brew she planned took a year and a day to complete
and her aim was to balance her son's deformity by giving 
him great wisdom  As the end of its simmering timing drew 
near, she set her serving boy to watch it as she went to 
collect the last of the herbs to put in.  

The legends don't say how but three drops fell upon him 
perhaps because he lifted the lid to look at the brew. 
However it happened the instant those crops fell on him 
he knew the brew would be of no use to Cerridwen and 
he knew her rage would be great so he ran. Thus began 
a dance of transformation- a hound following a rabbit, an 
otter chasing a salmon, a hawk flying after a sparrow- 
until finally he turned himself into a grain of wheat and 
hid in the grain shed. 

But Cerridwen turned herself into a hen and gobbled him up. 

Implanting him within herself caused her to become 
pregnant and she rebirthed him as the Talesin the 
greatest wizard of all time. So how does this story 
relate to my humble kitchen appliance?

Things that go into the crock pot like Cerridwen's 
cauldron are forever transformed.

We add ingredients to it, put a lid on and through 
the magic of slow heat within hours a meal is 
prepared for ourselves and our loved ones. 

The cauldron/crock pot is also a metaphor for 
our life experiences. Some of the ingredient we 
choose, others are given to us. What comes out 
in our lives can be something more delicious than 
any single ingredient that went in. 

The key is the low heat; the actions we take based 
upon what we have learned. At any time we are free 
to change the recipe by opening out minds up through 
personal development and trying new things but in doing 
so we can't forget to allow ourselves the time needed to 
combine these new additions to the rest of our delicious 
lives in a way that resonates and works with our experiences.


May Cerridwen guide you to create your life by adding the right ingredients to transform you into the most delicious version of 
yourself.  May the people you touch with your delicious life be nourished in body mind and spirit. Ashe. Amen. And so it is.

Last night I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.  
Who was that woman? I thought.  A lump grew in my 
throat tears back I did choke as I heard an old litany taunt:
 
Her toes are gawdy with sequin shoes on each jewel is 
so tarnished and faded.  Her hips are too wide and so are 
her thighs no doubt from each cookie jar raided
Her tummy sticks out and there is no doubt there's never 
been a meal missed.  Her breasts are too large, her shoulders 
too broad and her flaws?  Please don't get me started


But then I looked in to my eyes, dear friends.  
I looked deeply into my own eyes.
 
I saw Goddess there and as the tears fell
a new litany came forth to flaunt:
 
Your toes are sparkly with sequin shoes on, each jewel represents a road traveled.  Your hips are wide yes and 
so are your thighs the secrets of birth they've unraveled.
Your tummy stands out and there is no doubt you've 
enjoyed all of my Earthly gifts.  Your breasts nursed 
your babes, your shoulders relief gave and those so 
called flaws make you bighearted
 
You are a reflection of me dear one
A direct incarnation of me
Wipe those tears from your eyes
And let your heart rise
Shine your light for all to see.
 

So if you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and 
ask who that woman is
Pick up my refain your own praises please sing
And know that you too are Divine

 The Romans conquered Greece and imposed the images of their Gods and Goddesses on to theirs. The Romans knew disconnecting conquered people from their heritage and truly defeat them required no less than destroying or absorbing their Gods. But somehow the names of the Greek Gods/Goddeses are still imbedded in our collective culture.  




Minerva and Athena. 
Even though these two Goddesses are linked 
they are not the same.
At least not to me.
 
I am dedicated to Athena. 
I spent a long time with both Minerva and
Athena before determining whom I had been
chosen by.  That being said I still work with
Minerva from time to time.  When I invoke her
there is a certain feel to her that though similar
in aspects, is very different from invoking Athena. 
Working with Minerva energy is like being around
someone who brings out qualities to the surface
you may not have known you had within you, bu
these qualities may not be to your liking and it's up
to you to decide if you will uses these qualities or keep
them on the down low.

Minerva feels more no nonsense than her Greek counterpart; more cold and emotionally detached.
She is more focused on the outcome rather than the
path it takes to get there which could mean she will
take you to places you don't want to go in order to
achieve victory. Minerva is less concerned with maintaining relationships on the way to success, so it is important to know who and what is most important to you when invoking
this Goddess. Athena can have those traits as well but
for me they don't present themselves as easily as they do
with Minerva.

Who are you right now?
Who do you believe yourself to be? 
Who do you believe you can be? 
These are the challenges Minerva
requires us to answer to receiving her guidance.


Minerva can show us how to set and defend our
personal boundaries while moving toward your goals
and dreams. Her energy is especially potent this week 
when coupled with the new moon in Aries. Just like
Minerva, this firey new moon challenges us to take
decisive action toward your goals

Here. 
Last night's tossing and turn is still with 
me as I try to get up out of bed.   I hear the 
wind blowing through the leaves.  It feels icy 
cold as I pass the window sliding it closed.  

Here. 
I grumble wishing for Spring's warmth as 
I tumble into warm clothes.  I make my way
downstairs.  I open the front door to let the dog 
out.  I smell rain.  

Here.
I step onto the porch umbrella in hand.
I breath deeply and look around me.
Something catches my eye and I feel 
warmth spreading through me chasing
the grumbles away...Spring's warmth is here.
I just have to know where to look for it.

As I settled in to listen to these Goddesses, 
I found it hard to connect with the deck prescribed
 message.  But part of working with Goddess is 
learning to trust your own intuition more and use 
the book as a jumping off point.  

Here's where I jumped with The Erinyes.

In antiquity, The Erinyes (known as The Furies in Roman times) are older than the Olympians having sprung from the blood spilled when Ouranos was killed.  These dark Goddesses were charged with seeking vengeance and punishing the wicked on Earth and in the Underworld.  They were also thought to be the bearers of ill omens.  

The only way to appease them were through rituals of purifications and tasks of atonement.  It is thought that 
the Greeks were so intent on not invoking these 
Goddesses wrath they were referred to as The 
Eumenides, or "the kind ones" But how would these 
Goddesses show up in modern times?  

For the the answer, I turn to the geekdom of The Doctor.

In the Dr. Who episode 'Blink', an alien race 
known as the Weeping Angels look like statues 
to us but move impossibly fast if we even blink.  
They feed off a person by  sending them back in time 
and consuming  the life that person would have had.  

What if the Erinyes act this way today?  Let's meet them.

There's a decision to be made.  We already know what needs to be done but  are afraid to do it because we may make other people upset and we don't want to be seen as the 'bad guy'.    We're being plagued by fears and doubt so much that we're loosing sleep over it.  We may not even be able to eat with the nervous flips your stomach keeps making.  

If any of this is ringing true then congratulations.  

You're being fed on by Alecto the unresting.  

Nobody wants to admit it but we all get into victim thinking from time to time.  When you feel slighted, ignored, over looked, disempowered or weak you are stuck in victim consciousness.  

People give us sympathy and we lap it up while staying stuck in our rut.  We may even wish for a savior to come and rescue us.  Or we may start to have fantasies about the harm that will befall the person we feel slighted and overlooked by. 

Sound firmiliar?  Congratulations.  

You're being fed on by Megaera, the grudge bearer.  

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is just one of the saying that come to mind for this Goddess.  Someone has done us wrong and our eyes and heart are filled with anger and malice toward anyone bearing similarities to our wrong doer. (ie. All men only want one thing or all women are catty in a group).  People around us suggest that we 'get over it and move on'  but we have so much anger built up inside you that it seems impossible.  And if we don't have our anger to hold on to who are we really?

Is this painfully true?  Congratulations.


You're being fed on by Tisiphone the Avenger.  

The tasks of atonement for these Goddesses hold the power to release us from their grip.  Nothing good or ill will happen until we take action on the decision.  If  we make the decision knowing in our heart to be the best one for ourself, we will rest easy knowing we did the best we could base upon our current knowledge.  This will appease Alecto.

Taking personal responsibility for our part of the story and reaping what lesson there was for ourselves is the way to appease  Megaera.  Forgive ourselves for any perceived wrong doings can empower us and help us to move forward.  

The task of atonement for Tisiphone can be the most challenging.  It is forgiveness.  I say this can be the most challenging because the journey to forgiveness is through the valleys of anger and fear buried deep inside.  Forgiveness isn't a one time deal.  It may need to be done daily in some situations but it is worth the focus and effort because each of us with our unique gifts are needed in this world.  And in case you didn't know it already, you are worth the effort.  

Clearing out and releasing the old and birthing the new. 
That's the message Eostre brings as Goddess of Spring. 
This goddess was celebrated by both the Germanic and 
Saxon tribes as Goddess of spring, rebirth, abundance 
and growth. In the Northern Hemisphere animals are coming 
out of hibernation while plants and trees are starting to wake 
up and get back to the busy work of growing; producing flowers, leaves and food. 

This is a busy time for us too as we long to shake 
off the dark gray days of winter.  We want to spend time
outside and often begin planting our gardens with flowers.
Most of us don't have to depend on growing all our own food 
but a good way to connect with this Goddess would be 
to seek out locally grown produce as it becomes available.  
Find a local farmer or farmer's market and support them directly.
If you're planning on growing any plants or tending animals 
you can honor this Goddess by blessing the seeds, plants 
and animals.


Freshen the energy of your home by beginning some Spring cleaning; clear up any winter debris or decorations. Open the windows and air out the house. If its still too cold in your part of the world you can still start the process and perhaps smudge with a few open windows. This would also be a good time to do some inner Spring cleaning and honor your body temple by doing the cleanse of your choice.


How ever you choose to honor the season, invoke Eostre's energy and ask for her blessings of abundance and fertility 
in your life.

As part of my Spring Equinox celebration I decided to walk a labyrinth.   When you hear the word Labyrinth, you may think of a complicated network of paths designed to trick and confuse while trying to discover the way out.  Or like me you may think about *swoon* David Bowie in 'leave nothing to the imagination' riding pants (surely I'm not the only one who wanted to be spirited away by this Goblin King!)

The labyrinth is used as a form of walking  meditation or prayer that by it's very nature is said to balance the brain's hemisphere's and can be extremely healing to the body, mind and spirit.  Unlike a maze, a labyrinth does not have dead ends.  They usually have one way in and one way out, though there are double entry labyrinths.  I was introduced to labyrinth walking several years ago when I had the fortune of participating in a women's group at the local Unitarian Universalist Church and I've been hooked ever since.  

Some thing magical happens when you choose to 
enter a labyrinth.  With its conscious use answers
to questions begin to appear.  Spiritual awareness
and clarity of purpose meet you at it's center.  

There are labyrinths all over the world waiting for you to 
experience their peaceful centering energy. But if you're not fortunate to live with one close by, why not make one for yourself?  

I plan to make a permanent one in my yard but until I get the 
supplies I decided to make a portable one.  We made this 
classic 3 circuit labyrinth for about $50 and I'm thrilled with the results!

I found it very easy to do and I hope in sharing how I made mine you are encouraged to make one for yourself!  













Supplies:

• Painter's tape (3/4 to 1 inch width)

• A large canvas drop cloth (mine is 9x12)
• Paint brushes and a paint container

• Paint -using a combination of acrylic canvas paint and wall paint we had leftover, we had about 24 oz. of acrylic and a little under half a gallon of contrasting paint (you can easily omit the half gallon or check your hardware store for 'oops' paints which are usually at a discounted price)
• A warm, sunny day and a large flat area to lay out your canvas
• An extra set of hands 

First, decide on the finished look of the labyrinth. I wanted to use up all the space on my drop cloth but I love the gentle curves of a classic labyrinth, so we decided on what we call a 'cinnamon roll' pattern.  
Next draw a 'seed pattern' to know which line connects where.  We did this on paper so we would know exactly what we needed to do on the canvas. 

Using the painter's tape, we started our cross in the center of
the canvas but discovered we would run out of space so I 
recommend starting at about 12 inches from the bottom edge 
of the drop cloth. I stood on the cloth feet shoulder with apart as
we placed each of the corners.

For the wall lines on the edges, we just eyeballed placing them about 1 inch from the canvas edge.  Once all walls are laid out, start at the center and paint on either side of the tape lines.  If 
the day is warm and sunny the center will be dry once the outside lines are done.

Fill in the path with a contrasting color if desired and allow to dry thoroughly for 3-4 hours.

Once it's dry it's ready to be used.  To walk the labyrinth, follow the path to the center.  Once in the center you can pause for a moment or turn and and then all the way back out again which completes the walk.  .  Here are a few additional suggestions:

• Sing a song or play music (Steven Halpern's music feels especially appropriate)

• Chant, repeat a mantra  (any music by Deva Premal is wonderful)
  

• Recite a prayer or litany
  

• Repeat an affirmation
•  Walk fast, slow or in between
•  Walk with a specific intention (clarity, receiving guidance, etc) or none at all
  
• Visualize the turns as a physical part of your body that needs the healing walk

I encourage you to make or seek out a labyrinth and participate
in the World Labyrinth Day walk on May 4. Each step we take 
within a labyrinth brings us closer to the change we wish to see 
in the world.