He's still struggling with floating
on his back. As soon as he leans his head back, he tenses up and starts to sink.
He won't surrender his muscle tension because he doesn't feel safe
enough to trust the water to support him. Despite countless times
of getting water up his nose, he's still willing to keep trying.
With that willingness, I know he'll get it.
As I was watching him I thought of how similar it is to my personal
work right now. I'm having a shift in understanding of what the word
'surrender' actually means.
By definition, surrender means 'to give oneself up into the power of
another.' Someone having power over me? No thank you. To me
that feels so wrong. But I think in my mind I confused surrender
with giving up which has two distinctly different feelings to me.
Giving up means I've tried everything I know how and there's nothing
else I can do. I'm out of ammo, out of ideas, and just plain tired. Giving
up has the weight of failure about it...like I have no choice. Giving up
feels as though there's no emotional support left and it comes from a closed hearted place.
Surrender feels more like a choice. Like I've chosen to go with the flow
trusting that whatever happens I'll have the ideas, resources and energy
to face the challenges that come with as much grace and ease as I allow.
Surrender feels as though there is a wealth of emotional support coming
from a heart wide open to trusting the process.
As my son leans his head back into the water once again, I whisper
'Trust the water. It will support you if you let it.' Sounds like pretty
good advice for me as well.