I've been trying to write a post here  and I find I'm stuck; that is I'm facing serious resistance to writing. 

Maybe it's because I want to write something marvelous and thought provoking...something really honest and amazing.

Or maybe it just because Spring and the magic of Beltane is calling me to be out in the natural world (I no longer own a laptop but that's a very sad tale of woe). 

Whatever it is, I've been starting and deleting posts for several hours now. I want to write...there are words that want to come out. I decided I'd strong arm myself to sit down and write. 

So here I sit, staring at the blank post screen and feeling like I'm beating myself with a cat o' nine tails trying to force the words to come out. 

Frustrated with not one word of value coming, I left my computer to put the kettle on to boil, pulled out my favortie chai blend (a white chai w/ayurvedic chai) of loose tea and waited for the water to get to the right temperature.

And waited...

Waited and listened...

Listened and waited...

Listened to my breath change from short and shallow to long and deep.

Listened to the water as the sound subtly changed from still to very active as it began to boil.

And just like that it became clear.

You see no matter how much I want the water to boil there is nothing I can do to make it boil any faster than its own timing will allow it to. 

Sure I can turn up the heat source underneath it or put a lid on the kettle but it still will only reach boiling point when it's ready. 

And as I pour the hot water over the tea, the leaves will only infuse the water with it's liquid healing in it's own time

It's all organic timing. 

So what if I just stopped trying to force writing to happen and start writing from where I am at right now...just allowing my words to come like I waited for the sound of water at a rolling boil?

What about you?  How many times have you tried to force something to happen when it really needed it's organic timing to fully develop?

What is going on with you right now that can benefit from your waiting and listening to your own inner guidance for it to develop?

As I type these words I hear the timer telling me my liquid healing guide is ready to be savored. The writing has come in only 5 minutes...all in it's organic time.

May you find something of value in organic timing too.

Someone is waiting for you. 

Someone is waiting to learn from you.

Someone is waiting for you to step into your power and show the way.

Someone is waiting for you to shine the light of your truth so they can see their own.

Someone is waiting for a compassionate smile from you so they can know they matter.

Someone is waiting for you to fill yourself to the brim with goodness and share it with others.

Someone is waiting for you to love yourself deeply enough to set healthy boundaries.

Someone is waiting for you to stop comparing your unique expression of humanity to others.

Someone is waiting for you to stop comparing your insides to their outsides. 

Someone is waiting for you to share the lessons you've learned from grief.

Someone is waiting for you to say 'it's alright to grieve deeply'.

Someone is waiting to see Divine energy in human form by connecting with you.

Someone is waiting for you to show up in all of your magnificence

Someone is waiting for you

To be you...

Will you answer the call?

Jamie Ridler is once again timely because I was just thinking about this very thing this morning. 

What do you wish to focus on?
As I've been working to build this beautiful business, homeschooling my son and supporting my daughter through her last days of high school my home has become cluttered.  So I wish to focus on simplifying things in my home.  I've already started this process & I don't want to get sidetracked.

It's interesting that I see my home so out of control because I was thinking about my finances as well.  My bills are under control but I continually feel as if there's 'not enough'  I also want to focus on developing a new relationship with money and financial accountability. 

I make a wish every Wednesday. There's power in collective wishing You can join us at Jamie Ridler Studio

Only a few hours left until I am birthed for another year on this planet.  And as I sit with my evening cup of tea, I am reviewing the year behind me.  I've gone through a huge transformation during this '0' year; my first full year without my mom, going through my grieving process while being a home support for my husband while he was away in Afghanistan, beginning the home schooling journey with my son, opening to allow my 18 year old daughter to step into her own wise woman self & really moving forward with my business in a big way.  

I'm so filled with gratitude to see the beauty in all of the unpredictable yet wonder-filled blessings unfolding in my life.  

I've been humbled and honored to share my knowledge of Goddess spiritual teaching in the short time I've put myself out.  I'm sharing goddess stories over cups of tea with women all over the US, Canada and Australia so far. 

I mused to myself a few days ago that as a teenager I was so filled with resistance at becoming a teacher because everyone around me said I should become a teacher 'like my mom'. 

I couldn't imagine myself teaching 'like my mom' who so many students thought hung the moon.  She was an amazing classroom teacher who found new and exciting ways to open the minds and hearts of her students to unexplored worlds.  She always prayed for guidance to be that one teacher to make a difference for her students.  How could I possibly live up to that? 

And yet here I am sharing what I know on subjects I love...teaching...just like my mom but not like my mom at all. 

And even though it took me a while to get here having to pick up all the many pieces of my teachings over cups of tea in Texas, N. Carolina, Italy, Germany and now Georgia, all of it feel good and vibrant and life affirming.   I am so filled with love for myself for showing up, for doing my inner work and now for sharing my light with the world.  I am so grateful to everyone showing up as themselves becoming my teachers and endless sources of encouragement along the way.

So what did I learn from my 40th year? 

1.  Grief is a sacred process and trying to soldier through it with a 'never give up never surrender' kind of attitude makes the grief stronger and harder to cope with. 

2.  Relaxing into grief, accepted her presence, invited her to tea, and asking her what she had to teach me, helped me move through the toughest bits with more grace and ease. 

3.  If you look for encouragement you will find it and often not at all where you expected it to be. 

4.  When you ask for help, you are allowing those around you the opportunity to show you they love you. 

5.  It is so so  true; you can spend a really long time searching for something outside of you but in the end what you were searching for was right with you all along.