We did it every time we started our circle
 introduced ourselves through our mother's line. 
I am Dionne daughter of Jeanine, daughter of Winifred,
daughter of Sally...and there I would stop. 

I had no connection past my great grandma,
"Big Grandma" is what I called her or so I'm told. 
As I listened to the other women go back through 
their mothers I felt a longing to know more. 

Where did I come from? 

Though my mom tried to help very few of the stories 
of my family were written down let alone shared with her. 
There were whispers that we had Native American blood 
within us. I discovered this was a common story in many 
African American household; a testament to the level of 
shame and sadness the legacy of slavery has left with us. 
We'd rather claim that heritage as if trading one painful 
history for another was better. "Besides all of that was 
grown folks business", she would tell me, "In my day kids 
weren't allowed to listen to grown folks talk."
 
As the grown folks aged and past on coupled with the 
sad history of this country, our stories...my stories were 
lost. 

I felt lost. 

The question of identity has plagued many African 
Americans. Like many before me, I longed to know
more than what little was safe to teach us in a few 
paragraphs of a history book in school.

Among others, author Terry Pratchet is quoted as 
saying “If you do not know where you come from, 
then you don't know where you are, and if you don't 
know where you are, then you don't know where you're 
going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're 
probably going wrong.”


What was my starting place and where the heck am 
I going? This question burned within me. 

Though the Internet proved useful in my initial search 
(I found my great, great grandmother),  I had reached 
the great divide where no records of slaves were kept. 
And still the longing to know consumed me. I wanted to 
know what contribution to life in this country we made 
beyond the shame and heartbreak of slavery. 

I want to know what tribe my people came from. 

Inspired by the show African American Lives, I decided 
to take a DNA test to find out where my mother's people 
originated from and reclaim them surrounded by circle 
of women. 

I have to tell you I went back and forth on the decision 
because the information effects all the women from my 
mother's side; aunts and girl cousins, my daughter and 
any girl children that come from her. Would knowing and 
sharing this information do harm to them? Would it shatter 
our long held family beliefs about our place in the world? 
Or would it elevate us, make us wiser and connect our
family to something deeper? Either way i had to know. 

The process was painless; several cotton swaps rubbed
 in my mouth sealed in a capsule and returned to a lab.  
Within a few weeks I had the results.  

We gathered in circle, my then tribe and me, placing 
pictures on the altar and sharing stories of our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers.  With each retelling 
we breathed life into them until the room seemed to me filled 
with their presences.

The results were read.  With 98% accuracy my mother's 
line came from Ghana.  My mother ancestors were welcomed back and celebrated.

Knowing where I started out has helped me focus on where 
I'm  wanting to go.  Knowing has brought a level of comfort 
when thing along the journey get rough because there's  a 
well of strength from the ancestors within me waiting to be 
drawn upon. 

Knowing gave me a deeper perspective of which ancestral 
gifts to keep and which to walk away from.  This is one act 
which is without a doubt part of my legacy; my way to touch 
seven generations into the past and seven generations into the future. 

Knowing means I can say 
without a doubt I am Dionne, 
daughter of Jeanine, 
daughter of Winifred, 
daughter of Sally, 
daughter of Mary
a daughter of Ghana.

May we do our part to make the little differences that mean a lot.  
May each action we take flow through us and enliven our own lives so we may lead by example.  
May Earth Day be every day

I'm not sure if it's that much of a secret but I'll tell ya...I love my crock pot.  

It's probably my most powerful magic tool. 

 By harnessing it's power, 
I create the most delicious meals to nourish my family's minds, bodies and spirits.  

It's nothing short of uh-maze-zing!  I see my crock pot as 
a modern day version of Cerridwen's cauldron.  

Cerridwen put all the ingredients into her cauldron
to make a brew for her son who was born deformed. 
This brew she planned took a year and a day to complete
and her aim was to balance her son's deformity by giving 
him great wisdom  As the end of its simmering timing drew 
near, she set her serving boy to watch it as she went to 
collect the last of the herbs to put in.  

The legends don't say how but three drops fell upon him 
perhaps because he lifted the lid to look at the brew. 
However it happened the instant those crops fell on him 
he knew the brew would be of no use to Cerridwen and 
he knew her rage would be great so he ran. Thus began 
a dance of transformation- a hound following a rabbit, an 
otter chasing a salmon, a hawk flying after a sparrow- 
until finally he turned himself into a grain of wheat and 
hid in the grain shed. 

But Cerridwen turned herself into a hen and gobbled him up. 

Implanting him within herself caused her to become 
pregnant and she rebirthed him as the Talesin the 
greatest wizard of all time. So how does this story 
relate to my humble kitchen appliance?

Things that go into the crock pot like Cerridwen's 
cauldron are forever transformed.

We add ingredients to it, put a lid on and through 
the magic of slow heat within hours a meal is 
prepared for ourselves and our loved ones. 

The cauldron/crock pot is also a metaphor for 
our life experiences. Some of the ingredient we 
choose, others are given to us. What comes out 
in our lives can be something more delicious than 
any single ingredient that went in. 

The key is the low heat; the actions we take based 
upon what we have learned. At any time we are free 
to change the recipe by opening out minds up through 
personal development and trying new things but in doing 
so we can't forget to allow ourselves the time needed to 
combine these new additions to the rest of our delicious 
lives in a way that resonates and works with our experiences.


May Cerridwen guide you to create your life by adding the right ingredients to transform you into the most delicious version of 
yourself.  May the people you touch with your delicious life be nourished in body mind and spirit. Ashe. Amen. And so it is.

Last night I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.  
Who was that woman? I thought.  A lump grew in my 
throat tears back I did choke as I heard an old litany taunt:
 
Her toes are gawdy with sequin shoes on each jewel is 
so tarnished and faded.  Her hips are too wide and so are 
her thighs no doubt from each cookie jar raided
Her tummy sticks out and there is no doubt there's never 
been a meal missed.  Her breasts are too large, her shoulders 
too broad and her flaws?  Please don't get me started


But then I looked in to my eyes, dear friends.  
I looked deeply into my own eyes.
 
I saw Goddess there and as the tears fell
a new litany came forth to flaunt:
 
Your toes are sparkly with sequin shoes on, each jewel represents a road traveled.  Your hips are wide yes and 
so are your thighs the secrets of birth they've unraveled.
Your tummy stands out and there is no doubt you've 
enjoyed all of my Earthly gifts.  Your breasts nursed 
your babes, your shoulders relief gave and those so 
called flaws make you bighearted
 
You are a reflection of me dear one
A direct incarnation of me
Wipe those tears from your eyes
And let your heart rise
Shine your light for all to see.
 

So if you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and 
ask who that woman is
Pick up my refain your own praises please sing
And know that you too are Divine

Conditions must be just right for a volcanic eruption
to take place.  The earth's plates must apply the right
amount of pressure on the magma chamber to force 
it to the surface.  

The same is definitely true of me.
  
I've put a lot of pressure on myself to force my work to the 
surface.  It was only when I started applying the right tools
to my situations that I began to see and understand how all 
of the different pieces of Goddess Tea House are coming 
together to be of service to the world. 

That's what's being reflected back to me with this week of Goddess Whispers.  The card again comes from the Marashinsky/Janto Goddess Oracle deck, where I pulled Pele (awakenings). 

Typically I make an altar to the Goddess I'm working with 
in order to get to know her better.  This mini altar is where I connect with her daily.  This is similar to having tea and a 
chat with a good friend.   Sometimes I  journal what I know 
about each Goddess and what she has to tell me.  

Because I pull all my Goddess Whisper card during the new
moon, I check the Goddess Tea House Facebook page to see what I channeled.  I'm often surprised by how in tune these 
readings are for the day they are posted.  

As the week progresses I'll be sharing more information and
insights on Pele.  I hope you find them helpful in building your own relationship with the Divine Feminine.