When Effy put out the call to join her in the challenge to
write 30 blog posts in 30 days I honestly did not think I could do it.
Writing has continued to be a struggle for me despite my increased
love of doing in it in this medium.
Yet here I am with the 30th blog post in 30(ish) days and
I couldn't be more proud of myself for stepping up to the challenge
It's been such a blessing to be a part of this wider internet community.
As this part of the journey comes to an end, I find myself in deep
reflection about how this experience rocked me as a writer.
Here's what I learned...
Every post doesn't have to be the next great novel.
Part of my struggle with writing is I want everything to be the best. What an unrealistic
amount of pressure I've put on myself because of that desire! I continually reminded myself
that it didn't have to be prize winning stuff, it just had to be something that was in my heart.
For me that was a huge relief and cleared the way for what I felt was some really solid writing.
It's more important to honor my own rhythm than follow a prescribed program
While I enjoyed Julia Cameron's solid advice in The Artist Way, I was never able to sustain
morning pages in the way she prescribed which fed my inner critic voices. But this time,
I allowed myself the space to sit down and write at whatever time was best for me. I discovered
around dusk is the time time I feel most focused for writing with the words just flowing out of me
much easier. Discovering that has made all the difference in how I'll continue with my blog writings.
Sometimes I need to give myself permission over and over again
During this challenge I gave myself permission to write about anything and everything which
ultimately lead to me sharing a very vulnerable piece I wouldn't normally have shared. I still had
to let it sit a few days while I gave myself permission again and again to share it and I can see
how doing that leveled up my courage. I also discovered because of the permission to write anything
the more I wrote, the more I wanted to write and I now have a list of topics I'd like to explore which before
this I didn't.
I've loved the freedom I've given myself during this practice and I want to continue posting thoughOur Friday Bento Lunch
I'm not sure if I'll be doing it everyday. We start back to regular schedule homeschooling and as we
get used to that rhythm I hope to incorporate space for writing somehow.
I've got some great new programs I'm developing to come out in the next couple of months
(subscribe to my newsletter for advance notice). I'm giving myself the next two days to rest and
integrate while the answer comes up.
I want to share my art not just my knitting but whatever form that makes my
heart sing at the moment...right now I'm revisiting bento making and spirograph mandalas. In the mean time I want to give deeps appreciation to Effy for doing this and to everyone who participated and commented on my writings here and on Facebook.
A few days ago I wanted to write about the dreams I have for my two black children.
But I didn't. I was too scared, too tired, too...I don't know what else.
It's a constant dance I do with fear trying to write deeply but holding myself back.
Because I want this space to remain a sacred haven.
But I'm in a little bit better place now that I've reconnected to Goddess.
And I feel in my heart of hearts I want to share this...I need to share this.
Because it's something I ask myself often and it needs to be freed
from my mind.
How much of the vulnerability do I share before it's too much?
Is it too much to write that try as I might to lead my life by holding the belief
that 'we shall overcome' my secret fear is that someone may think my beautiful
boy is a threat because they will see his 'blackness' before they see anything
else about him?
Is it too much to write that I'm afraid that someone will look at my beautiful
daughter and see her as a hyper sexualized object not worthy of respect, dignity
or power of choice in who she shares her body with?
Is it too much to write that I work diligently to show my son examples of
chivalry but I'm afraid one day he may stop listening to me as he sees
the way men are portrayed in the media?
Is it too much to write that I don't see a difference between laws that prevented
interracial marriage and the ones currently preventing gay marriage and that I
worry how the world will treat my two precious children if they fall in love with
someone of the same gender?
Is it too much or is my choice not to write about those things not being
Truth be told I think only Goddess can tell me how much is too much
But sharing this right here and right
Too much information, too many things on my to do list,
too many rapid changes, too much sugar, not enough sleep.
These are some of the things I've been dealing with this week
and as I connected with others I found I wasn't alone.
This entire week has felt very overwhelming for me and many
people. For me feeling overwhelmed is like being knocked
off center. So how to I get back to my beautiful center which is
the essence of me? Here are my three favorite ways!
1. Practice Good Energetic Hygiene
Connecting with another person (physically or virtually) are acts of energetic exchange.
These exchanges are like cords, attaching one person's energy field to another which
can leave a person feeling low or depleted. Practice good energetic hygiene by remembering
to recall these cords and connect them back into your own personal divinity, which for me is
Goddess/God/All That Is). I also come back to center when I remember to clear my aura field.
2. Become Embodied
One of the down sides of technology having a world full of information at the click of a button.
Too much time in our heads (reading stories, thinking about what she/he said, listening to others words)
disconnects us from our bodies. Dancing or any other favorite movement, going outside and standing on
Mama Gaia or a five minute walk can help get you out of your head and back into your body. Once I've tuned
into my body I may discover I need to get a healing or a card reading to help me return to center
3. Look for the Good
When I take a look at overwhelm I often find it's really appearing in my life to teach me something about myself.
So I practice looking for the good! It's giving me an opportunity to stretch toward the light and grow into the luminous beings I'm meant to be. I also use technology for good by setting alarms on my phone to remind
me to look for the good, get up and move and reel those cords in and reconnect to Goddess/God/All That Is?
And only I know why the alarms are going off...well if you ever hang with me in person then you will too but
you get the point!
When I remember these simple practices, I can choose not to stay in overwhelm.
I choose to come back my beauty, goodness and light.
What about you? When you feel overwhelmed how to do you come back to center?
On this the 50th Anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, I'm sharing a few of my favorite Martin Luther King, Jr.quotes along with some pictures I feel a special attachment to:Selfie in the park
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that."
"If you can't fly then run,
if you can't run then walk,
if you can't walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to
keep moving forward.”
My Priestess Ordination with my daughter
“I have decided to stick to love...
Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Mandala created by Josephine Ruff-Sloan
"People fail to get along because they fear each other;
they fear each other because they don't know each other;
they don't know each other because they have
not communicated with each other.”
My Priestess Ordination
“If I cannot do great things,
I can do small things in a great way”
** That I loved to sing when I was kid and did so with joy all through out high school. That I wanted to sing for the rest of my life.
** That I placed 1st Chair Alto in the All Girls Regional Choir my senior year in high school.
** That I stopped signing because I was told I needed something to fall back on...it took years for me to start singing again.
** That I am determined not to let anyone (including me) side track my kid's passions by telling them to find something to fall back on. That I don't want anyone else to find a fall back instead of focusing on their passion.
** That I loved all most every minute of the time I lived in Europe. It stopped being fun after 9/11 but I would pack up and go back in a heartbeat.
** That when I lived in Italy, sometimes after my daughter went off to school I would get on the train and spend the day in Florence at a cafe.
** That I cried for an hour on the flight back to the US at the end of our time living in Europe. That sometimes I still catch myself saying "I've only been back a few years (but really its been 10 years). That part of my lottery winning plan includes a home in Italy.
** That I once took a DNA test to discover where in Africa my ancestral mothers came from. That I waited to open the results until I was circling with other women. That reclaiming my ancestry made such a huge difference in my life, because knowing where I came from helped to quiet the questions and stay focused on where I'm going.
** That after years of telling myself I wasn't as good a teacher as my mom, I fully and truly embraced being a teacher because I've found my own way of doing it. I'm really good at it and it makes my heart sing.
The inspirational spark for this missive comes from the fabulous word smith Alexandra Franzen, whom I highly recommend falling in love with. Also, if I sound like someone you'd like to get to know better, sign up for my newsletter.
I'm Dionne, a Natural Rhythms Creation Coach and Elemental Forces of Creation Oracle Reader. I teach people how to tune into to the power of the elements and rhythms of nature to design a life they love