I want to remember:

the perfect mix of sunshine and cool breezes of 
this weekend at the fall festival

the way you still call me 'Boo Boo'  and yelled
'take my picture!'  for each ride you went on.

the excitement in your eyes as you discovered you 
were big enough to ride the bigger rides by yourself.  


the excitement mixed with fear I had when you wanted to ride by yourself.

the silent prayer I said for you as the ride began...I do that so much more as you become 
more independent.  

the butterflies in my stomach as the ride began.  These must be the same ones I felt when 
you took your first steps.

the way you ran to hug me with a huge smile on your face after the ride was over.  

the truth of how blessed I am to have you as a teacher.

This morning I awoke from a dream in which I was cooking something that I've made many times before and my hubby 
said it didn't taste the same.  I said I prepared it the way I 
always do and he said something to the affect of it not being prepared with as much love and compassion as last time.  
And I said yes I can see how that would be because I was annoyed with something when I cooked it.  



The way people connect to us through the food we share is what I believe to be the touch of our spirits.

As Autumn is starting to share it's beauty, I recall some of the favorite things my mom made from childhood like a cream cheese and dried beef dip she made for Christmas Eve every year and how 
I don't think to make it any other time of the year.  

And I still remember the year my grandmother made salt water taffy with us.  
I was about 7 or 8 and if I close my eyes and breath for a while, I can still feel how sticky
it was and how stiff it became as we pulled and pulled and pulled on it.    

I remember how she made pretzel and peanut clusters covered in white chocolate and how 
deliciously salty and sweet they were   And I still remember the touch of her hands…so soft 
and smooth.    These memories touch my heart every time I share them.  

A few days ago I was amazed to see my older baby doggie stay without complaint
as the younger baby doggie lay down with their rumps touching.  Even as I share this 
with you Lacy lays just close enough to have me touch her with my foot.  

A hug from my son or daughter, a kiss from my husband all touch me in different ways.
And even when I feel 'touched out' and have no desire for another person to put their 
hands near me, I am still touched by the air swirling around me, the yarn running through my 
fingers as I knit, the paper as I write or draw and the clothes draping my body.  

What a precious gift it is to touch and be touched.

Today, I honor my body's ability to touch and be touched by life in so many different ways.
And I invite you to allow yourself to be touched by life and honor it as a precious gift.  You
may even want to try this hugging meditation I did with my son.  Blessings!

Looking at the wonderfully creative bloggers or hanging out on Pinterest  makes a weird thing happen 
to me.  A voice inside me starts grumbling about how decidedly not creative I am and how I 'should be' creating like these people I admire.  And I know that's bull but that's where I get stuck in the land of 'not enough'.  But what to do?


Here are 3 ways I found particularly helpful in getting myself out of the 'not enough' space.

1.  Find evidence to contradict the 'not enough' 

Often when the 'not enough' sticks it's because I'm not paying attention to the ways I am indeed enough.  Today I decided to document all the ways I'm creative.  Here are a couple of things 
I discovered.  

We're learning fables during our homeschool time and I'm 
drawing pictures of the fables on our chalkboard as well as in 
my own notebook and I'm learning how to play the tin whistle 
and creating music.  I'm also knitting up a sweater vest, a Winter Solstice present for my son, and I'm writing here and for my newsletter tribe.  

So I am plenty creative on a daily basis.

2.  Give gratitude to the creations

As I noticed all the ways I'm creative daily, I found myself taking my creativity for granted by saying 'oh, that's just ____'.  I also noticed how that felt very low, as if my creativity being expressed in that particular way was nothing special...another load of bull.  None of us create in quite the same way as anyone else.  Diminishing the way I create leaves me feeling less creative.  Taking the time to really look at my creations and give 

3.  Ask the voice what it needs.

Some times the not enough voice is calling out about how I've been neglecting my relationship to myself because this voice is a part of me.  It's been my experience when I don't acknowledge the 'not enough' it tends to get louder, like a baby crying wanting to be soothed.  Acknowledging it and asking what it needs to feel whole is another possible solution.  Once I know what it needs...what I need I can give it to myself.  Sometimes the expectations of this part of me are unrealistic and need to be let go but more often than not it's something doable.  In the case of looking at other's creativity, sitting with the 'not enough' voice made me realize while I have been doing creative things, it's mainly been for others not just for me.  



I'd love to hear how you get yourself out of the land of 'not enough' .

I slice the fruit open
and taste the sweet and bitterness
of the letting go time

Each seed represents 
things I've created this year
I honor with gratitude

These things are cleared
to make space for what still 
grows in the last part of the year

Letting go brings me 
new lessons and the blessing 
of transformation show up.

This morning I felt the closing down of the energy around this Pisces full moon so intensely.
It was as if my entire body was tensing up and waiting for me to let go, to trust the support of 
Goddess and all my ethereal allies.  And once I relaxed into that support, I slipped into the most
deeply, regenerative sleep I've had in a while.  I felt swept clean.  Today I found this prayer that 
I share and hold the vision for all of us to be open to having a clean sweep happen in our lives.
And I ask that it happen with as much grace and ease as possible.