"Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have in life. The primary relationship to self determines your level of self-esteem. With low self-esteem, life can seem hard and difficult. As your regard and respect for your self increases, your perception of your life is likely to improve. With increased self-esteem, you are better able to uplift and enjoy your life."
© Lisa Michaels
I'm a huge self love fangirl. I absolutely adore myself more and more every day. My relationship to myself wasn't always this glorious. I learned early on being in relationship is a continual practice of learning to grow in love, compassion and companionship. I've been asked many times for the ways I use to improve my self-esteem and it always boils down to these three keys:
1. Monitor self talk
We all have those thoughts that run through our minds daily and we often do pay attention to them. But some of those thoughts could be sabotaging your relationship with yourself. Notice how you're using your 'I am' spell. Hw does saying things such as "I am too old, too slow, never gonna get this, etc" feel in your body compared to "I am really good at this, I am willing to do what it takes to get this" ? Whether consciously or unconsciously your body takes those words in and lowers or elevates your self esteem accordingly. If you're having trouble clearing and redirecting your 'I am' spell you may need additional support and I glad to help. Learning to listen to the way you talk about you will change your relationship with yourself.
2. Ask empowering questions.
Empowering questions leave you feeling uplifted and ready to take action. Disempowering questions zap you of energy. Instead of beating yourself up by thinking 'why am I not taking better care of my self ? or 'I should take better care of myself" ask "How can I care for myself emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically today?" then listen to your body for the answers. As I tuned into that question today I came up with some emotional clearing that needed to happen so I plan to have a good cry by watching a favorite tear jerking movies, followed by some meditational journaling ( I write letters to Goddess then listen for her answers), I'm teaching myself to play the penny whistle (mental) and I'll either go for a walk or put on some of my favorite songs and dance in my house for 15-20 minutes (physical). With those answers in place I set an alarm on my phone's calendar for each of them to be completed today.
Staying with empowering self care questions enlivens you.
3. Celebrate what's going right
It's easy to get lost in the midst of to do lists that never seem to empty themselves and see these as evidents of not enough. Why not shift the perspective to not only see what going right but to celebrate it as well? Celebrating even the tiniest bit of forward momentum can make a huge difference in the way you feel about yourself. Did you season a meal to perfection? Remember to take out the garbage before it overflowed? Got that one pressing thing done? Remembered your resuable water bottle as you walked out the door? Perhaps you can celebrate by buying yourself flowers, diving into your craft stash just for fun or blessing yourself. All things you do deserve celebration because they are just right for you.
Share some of the ways you use to grow your relationship with yourself in the comments. I'd love to know how you fall in love with yourself!
We waited for the tractor ride to begin touring us
around the apple orchard. This pilgrimage has
become part of our annual family tradition.
We sat there, you and I, in companionable silence
When you final spoke, you took my breath away.
"These are my favorite times...looking around at all the beautiful things with you. I love this season."
"I do too son" I said with a quiet smile. And just like that a new memory of you blanketed itself around my heart and returning to our companionable silence, the tractor ride began.
What do you want to remember?
I got to see The HH Dali Lama yesterday!
What a treat it was to listen to him in person sharing his thoughts on "Secular Ethics".
I'm glad I chose to take my notebook with me and take notes because I came away
with several things to think about! The Dali Lama suggested that if there was something
that stirred inside us to share it with our friends and neighbors and try as I might I just
couldn't write out my thoughts in a way that I was happy with sharing, so I did a vlog instead!
I stand in the center and all pieces that make up
who I am around me. I open more and more to receive
their messages, listening with my whole heart.
'Open to more' one part said
'You already know how to do it' another part said.
'We got your back' said other parts
'You can magnatize what you want' said the last.
My heart overflowed and I fell, deeply and crazy in love with me.
And in that moment of free fall, I got a clearer intention of how my life is going to be from now on.
I vow to stay connected to my radiant self and express that radiance more fully in every aspect of
my life. I vow to connect with my passion and bring a richer, vibrant quality to my life. From that passionate expression of me, I vow to keep falling in love with myself and share with others how
they can fall in love with themselves too.
The above is an excerpt from my journal on day 3 of a 5 day in person workshop I participated in
last week. Today is still a re-entry time of gentleness for me and looking back on the words I wrote still have me tingling with excitement over what is aligning within me to come out.
I'm Dionne, a Natural Rhythms Creation Coach and Elemental Forces of Creation Oracle Reader. I teach people how to tune into to the power of the elements and rhythms of nature to design a life they love