Beneath the Fear

My Backyard Morning, 2011

Today we are starting
and though my plans are made and ready
my stomach still flutters
~ On Beginnings (a haiku by me)

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I scribbled those words as we sat down to begin our structured homeschooling time this morning.
I wanted to acknowledge those nervous flutters that usually accompany starting
something new because those flutters are every bit a part of the homeschool (or any other)
experience.  

And denying or ignoring them has only served to make them stronger in the past.  

I took a deep breath and wrote down how I was feeling.  Once again (to my surprise) that 
little bit of acknowledgement helped me move through it with so much grace and ease I didn't 
even consider it until I sat down to share this with you. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought that once you get skilled at something 
the fluttery fear goes away.  But I'm discovering the fluttery fear stays and while it can
be a good thing (because I know it means there's a desire to do my best) in the past
I've used it to keep me from going forward.

So I'm putting this here as a reminder

If acknowledging the fear of beginning a new homeschool year dissipates the fear,
why not acknowledge the fear of other things ...like coming back to this page after having a 
world rocking experience with blogging?  

And just like that the words I want to share today flow out of me...not as orderly as my critical 
mind would like them to be but I don't mind mining for gems.

They are hidden beneath the fear.