I was fairly young when most of the alcoholism and
spousal abuse took place and though I know better now, I always felt more responsible for things than I really was. By the time I was a teenager, I was full of rage at both of my parents; my father for making my home such a scary place to live and my mother for staying. And I felt a deep seated anger with myself as if I could have done something to prevent the abuse. This is where I started on my journey to embrace my shadow stories. After several counseling sessions, self help books and deep sharing sessions with friends,I learned to forgive myself; for not knowing the right thing to do for not being or acting (fill in the blank) enough to get my father to stop drinking so much and stop beating my mom. I worked very long and hard with my inner child to let her know she was safe, protected, valued and loved and there was no reason for her to hold on to the pain of seeing that abuse any longer. But I still felt stuck in some of the same old patterns even though I knew they were not what was in my highest good. A couple of years ago I discovered the tool I use today Satori, the Radical Forgiveness game. It is one of the most powerful tools in my medicine bag and has literally changed my life. My first experience playing Satori was very unnerving. Through this 'game', I was supposed to just trust God/Goddess/All That Is would to get to the heart of the matter that needed the healing power of forgiveness? There was so much! How could I possibly look back at all of it and pick just one? Besides, it was going to hurt! But holding on to past hurts is damaging. Its like a wound filled with dirt and grit. I had to clean it out thoroughly before I could put ointment and bandages on it. I knew in my heart and head I needed to free the bound energy in order to move forward. Satori is like cleaning out a heart wound. It did hurt to clean out my heart and as I cleaning it there were tears. But I've learned tears can be healing Through this game, I had the opportunity to tell my story and express my feelings, to say the things I couldn't as a kid, and have the shadow parts of my story witnessed and acknowledged in a safe environment. And afterward, I didn't have to invest any more energy in the past. I played the game and experienced a sacred transformation. I was tender for several days and had to tend to myself gently as my heart started to heal. But I felt better than I had in years. And I was able to forgive my dad for his shadow. I try to remember to play Satori regularly...call it good energetic hygiene. Even though I know it's healing power, I still struggle with making time to use it. But I keep going back to it and offering my services as Game mistress to anyone who seem to have a hard time making peace with their shadow stories. If you would like more information on how to schedule a game, please feel free to contact me. I'd love to help you move your stuck energy.
Dear Dionne This is extraordinary. It's just that time of year, isn't it, all about the past, putting things to rest, finding forgiveness and healing. In my life I feel I am Persephone, who spent half of the year in the Underworld. I am well acquainted with the dark, and I don't fear it the way I used to; it's important to be able to face this stuff, and know we can choose the light, the topside world.
Dionne the Tea Priestess
26/10/2011 05:34:16
@Jackie~ Thank you so much sweetheart! I completely see my experiences as blessings because I can speak more personally about the transformation of shadows into lights. Comments are closed.
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Blessings!I'm Dionne, a Natural Rhythms Creation Coach and Elemental Forces of Creation Oracle Reader. I teach people how to tune into to the power of the elements and rhythms of nature to design a life they love I WRITE:
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