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Embracing the Shadow

20/10/2011

 
I was fairly young when most of the alcoholism and
spousal abuse took place and though I know better
now, I always felt more responsible for things
than I really was.   By the time I was a teenager,
I was full of rage at both of my parents; my father
for making my home such a scary place to live and
my mother for staying.

And I felt a deep seated anger with myself as if
I could have done something to prevent the abuse.

This is where I started on my journey to
embrace my shadow stories.

After several counseling sessions, self help books and
deep sharing sessions with friends,I learned to forgive myself;
for not knowing the right thing to do
for not being or acting (fill in the blank) enough to get my
father to stop drinking so much and stop beating my mom.
 
I worked very long and hard with my inner child to let her know
she was safe, protected, valued and loved and there was no reason
for her to hold on to the pain of seeing that abuse any longer. 

But I still felt stuck in some of the same old patterns
even though I knew they were not what was in
my highest good.

A couple of years ago I discovered the tool I use today
Satori, the Radical Forgiveness game.

It is one of the most powerful tools in my medicine bag
and has literally changed my life. 

My first experience playing Satori was very unnerving. 
Through this 'game', I was supposed to just trust God/Goddess/All That Is
would to get to the heart of the matter that needed the healing
power of forgiveness?

There was so much!  How could I possibly
look back at all of it and pick just one?

Besides, it was going to hurt!

But holding on to past hurts is damaging.
Its like a wound filled with dirt and grit.
I had to clean it out thoroughly before I could
put ointment and bandages on it. 

I knew in my heart and head I needed to free the
bound energy in order to move forward.

Satori is like cleaning out a heart wound.
It did hurt to clean out my heart and as I cleaning it
there were tears.  But I've learned tears can be healing

Through this game, I had the opportunity to tell my story
and express my feelings, to say the things
I couldn't as a kid, and have the shadow parts of my
story witnessed and acknowledged in a safe environment. 
And afterward, I didn't have to invest any more energy in the
past.

I played the game and experienced a sacred transformation.

I was tender for several days and had to tend to myself gently
as my heart started to heal. But I felt better than I had in years.

And I was able to forgive my dad for his shadow.

I try to remember to play Satori regularly...call it good
energetic hygiene.

Even though I know it's healing power,
I still struggle with making time to use it.

But I keep going back to it and offering my services as Game mistress
to anyone who seem to have a hard time making peace with their
shadow stories. 

If you would like more information on how to schedule a
game, please feel free to contact me. I'd love to help
you move your stuck energy.
Jackie link
25/10/2011 18:33:27

Dear Dionne

Thank you for such a courageous and healing post. Our stories are very similar and I resonate so much with the feelings of responsibility. It's clear that you have beautiful healing gifts to share but you might not have stumbled upon them without the pain of your past. I love that you've transformed your shadows into light that shines for everyone who comes by your blog. xxx

Fran link
26/10/2011 01:11:09

Hi Dionne,
Thank you for your beautiful courage and honesty, I'm doing some shadow dancing at the moment and it feels so supportive to hear your story.
Blessings to you
Fran

Sara link
26/10/2011 03:35:56

This is extraordinary. It's just that time of year, isn't it, all about the past, putting things to rest, finding forgiveness and healing. In my life I feel I am Persephone, who spent half of the year in the Underworld. I am well acquainted with the dark, and I don't fear it the way I used to; it's important to be able to face this stuff, and know we can choose the light, the topside world.

Dionne the Tea Priestess
26/10/2011 05:34:16

@Jackie~ Thank you so much sweetheart! I completely see my experiences as blessings because I can speak more personally about the transformation of shadows into lights.

Goddess bless you!


@Fran~ I'm so glad I could support you on your journey!

When I know I'm not alone I feel so much better about continuing to move through and do the work. I hope you are
finding loving support as you move through.

Bless you dear one!

@Sara~ Forgiveness, healing, rest...that pretty much sums up this whole season!

I had the pleasure of working with Persephone and I gained a deep love for her. As queen of the underworld she offers as much hospitality and guidance as the visitor will accept so they can learn not to fear the dark...but embrace it.

The challenge is learning to trust we are supported in our underworld journey and accept the lessons the dark teaches us.

May Persephone bless you with as much
grace and ease as possible as you move through her realm.


Comments are closed.

    Blessings!

    I'm Dionne, a Natural Rhythms Creation Coach and Elemental Forces of Creation Oracle Reader.  I teach people how to tune into to the power of the elements and rhythms of nature to design a life they love 

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