Lesson from 40

Only a few hours left until I am birthed for another year on this planet.  And as I sit with my evening cup of tea, I am reviewing the year behind me.  I've gone through a huge transformation during this '0' year; my first full year without my mom, going through my grieving process while being a home support for my husband while he was away in Afghanistan, beginning the home schooling journey with my son, opening to allow my 18 year old daughter to step into her own wise woman self & really moving forward with my business in a big way.  

I'm so filled with gratitude to see the beauty in all of the unpredictable yet wonder-filled blessings unfolding in my life.  

I've been humbled and honored to share my knowledge of Goddess spiritual teaching in the short time I've put myself out.  I'm sharing goddess stories over cups of tea with women all over the US, Canada and Australia so far. 

My Mom with a teacher friend, her last school year.

I mused to myself a few days ago that as a teenager I was so filled with resistance at becoming a teacher because everyone around me said I should become a teacher 'like my mom'. 

I couldn't imagine myself teaching 'like my mom' who so many students thought hung the moon.  She was an amazing classroom teacher who found new and exciting ways to open the minds and hearts of her students to unexplored worlds.  She always prayed for guidance to be that one teacher to make a difference for her students.  How could I possibly live up to that? 

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And yet here I am sharing what I know on subjects I love...teaching...just like my mom but not like my mom at all. 

And even though it took me a while to get here having to pick up all the many pieces of my teachings over cups of tea in Texas, N. Carolina, Italy, Germany and now Georgia, all of it feel good and vibrant and life affirming.   I am so filled with love for myself for showing up, for doing my inner work and now for sharing my light with the world.  I am so grateful to everyone showing up as themselves becoming my teachers and endless sources of encouragement along the way.

So what did I learn from my 40th year? 

1.  Grief is a sacred process and trying to soldier through it with a 'never give up never surrender' kind of attitude makes the grief stronger and harder to cope with. 

2.  Relaxing into grief, accepted her presence, invited her to tea, and asking her what she had to teach me, helped me move through the toughest bits with more grace and ease. 

3.  If you look for encouragement you will find it and often not at all where you expected it to be. 

4.  When you ask for help, you are allowing those around you the opportunity to show you they love you. 

5.  It is so so  true; you can spend a really long time searching for something outside of you but in the end what you were searching for was right with you all along. 

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