Socks, butterflies, and love

2/8/2013

Today has been all about lounging in bed, watching some of my favorite
old TV shows (I am a huge animation fan) and knitting. In fact I only just
stopped long enough to blog my post for Effy's blog a long. Thanks to YouTube,
I taught myself a new knitting technique called a Russian join. It's used when
you need to change colors or add a new skein of yarn in. I'm grateful for people sharing their knitting skills on YouTube because no one in my family ever knit.

I have a pair of socks that I've been working on off and on since
April. I love knitting socks and wanted to try something a little more
challenging which is why something that usually takes me about a month to
work through has taken waaaay longer. And while it annoys me that these
sock are taking so long and I'm totally ready to be done with them,
they will look glorious on me once they are done.

I love knitting. It connects me to my matron Goddesses Athena and Isis. I feel like I am weaving magic like
Isis and Athena gave me this gift when I needed it most. I do not kid when I say learning to knit saved my life.
I've only been knitting for 3 years. Knitting became a sanity saver as I learned how to do it after my
mom died. The gentle click of the needles soothed me as I worked through the emotions of grief. Because
when someone grieves as deeply as I did, it became very hard for me to find my way back to the land of the
living.

I entered a dark night of the soul. It was the most difficult journey I've ever been through and I am so grateful
to be on the other side of the hardest bits though I suppose a piece of me will always feel miss my mom terribly.

This I do know; even though she's physically gone, she's not really gone and though we were close in life, I believe we've become even closer now.

She continually sends me signs. Strange but true.

Today I was thinking about her a lot and just before I came to blog, this beautiful butterfly showed up on the side of my house again. This is the second time this summer and each time I was thinking about my mom before I saw this beauty.

Coincidence? Maybe...but I choose to take it as a sign of love. And as long as I
can still feel love around me, I know she's there.

Deborah Weber link

2/8/2013 09:01:35

What a lovely post. I'm glad you found your way through that hard place of deep grief, and I'm delighted you're open to receive the messages from your mother. How wonderful is that?! May you always be surrounded in that love.

Effy link

2/8/2013 09:43:38

Before my retina detached and I had a silicon buckle implanted to save the vision in my left eye, I knitted like a fiend. Alas, I get major eyestrain if I try to do anything more complicated than chunky knit/pearl on size 10 needles now. Love that knitting saved you. I totally get it. xo

Dawn Zichko link

2/8/2013 10:25:09

Lovely knitting! The life and sanity saving qualities of knitting resonate w/ me as well. Such a blessing the practice helped you. Ever thought of spinning your own wool?

Dionne

3/8/2013 08:20:15

Dawn I really have no desire to spin...if I did then I'd never find time to knit!

Dawn Zichko

3/8/2013 10:01:36

Well. I got plenty. Let me know and I'll ship some off to you.

rose link

2/8/2013 21:58:27

Nothing strange in those messages from your mom. Nothing strange at all. They are blessings.

Merry knitting ~ for it seems to be such beautiful Medicine for you. And, I may have to look up that Russian join technique!

Reba

3/8/2013 01:56:17

Dionne, I lost my oldest daughter about 3 years ago and miss her terribly. I agonized that I hadn't done enough for her during the last years of her life. she was in an awful auto accident that left her with some brain damage and the ability to talk distinctly. The brain damage affected her ability to talk as she did before. since her passing I have been visited by a dove every few days. I believe that was her spirit telling me that she's ok; that I needn't worry any more. We have since moved to another location and one day i saw the dove - only she wasn't alone. she was with another dove. I think she's telling me that she found someone to journey her path with. This has brought me great peace. She visits quite regularly now and always in the company of another dove. I feel blessed. I understand what you mean about the butterfly visits. I enjoy mine greatly.
Have a blessed day.

3/8/2013 08:21:47

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love that your daughter sends doves. What a beautiful reminder of her.

Sweet Red Clover link

3/8/2013 04:06:40

Your socks are gorgeous! I am so in awe of knitters...I've crocheted since I was a little girl and have tried knitting several times and you make me want to pick up the needles again and practice!

I'm so sorry for your loss but am glad for you that you are being comforted. I lost the love of my life three years ago and have found that he seems to come to me with crows...very dramatically as was his style...before he passed, there were never any around. Since he's been gone, a huge number of crows has taken up residence in the trees around my house. Like you, I find comfort in knowing that the love that was there when he was living is still with me though his physical body isn't.

3/8/2013 08:22:18

Thank you dear heart!

Karen Stewart Elliott

3/8/2013 04:11:06

What a lovely post about how knitting helped you through your deep grief. My mom is still alive. I often wonder how I will able to deal with her passing. The thought seems an impossibility. The butterfly--I, too, believe is your mom speaking to you.

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Socks, butterflies, and love

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