The call to trust

"Come to me" She whispered in my dreams
"I have secrets to share and answers to give."

It had been more than a year since I last went to the beach 
and I was feeling her call grow increasingly louder as the
summer days rolled by.  I made up excuses why I couldn't go
but the dreams had become so real I could smell the salty tang
of ocean air hanging in the room every time I woke up.  

Despite forecasts of thunderstorms and rain, I made my plans
to go to my favorite beach.  

The 6 hour drive was filled with challenges; heavy traffic and 
patches of rain so dense it forced us off the road to wait for it to
let up.  I waited patiently observing my breath.  

Smooth and even.  Not at all jagged or shallow.
It was different this time...I was different this time.  

In the last few years I've taken broken bits of myself to 
Mama Mer for healing.  Now I returned to her feeling 
complete, whole and ready to ask for what's next. 

Thank you Mama Mer

I opened my heart as I opened my hands offering gratitude
for the lessons I've learned this far. 

I planted my feet firmly in the sand and let the waves
wash over them.  Mama Mer washing my feet in her temple
a sacred act acknowledging the physical and spiritual path 
I've walked to get to this space and time.   

The undertow was quite strong  making it easy to feel my inner
water connected to the rhythm of Mama Mer.  I felt very quiet as
if on silent retreat.  And I realized just how much I need this right now. 
I don't have to wait until I'm feeling ragged.  

I can do this because it sustains me so I don't break.

Breathing deeply as I walked the beach in the darkness of a 
moonless sky I asked "what's next?" and quietly waiting for 
her answer. 

Many things came to me along the beach at night.  
Ideas and projects to be shared that are starting to incubate 
within me.  So many exciting things just waiting to be born.

Along with excitement came the fear of uncertainty.
The surprising thing is I'm okay with the uncertainty.  

I don't need to know how everything is going to work out.  
This time I am choosing to take step out on faith because 
there is one truth I am truly and deeply trusting in...

I AM SUPPORTED